Parenting conflicts can arise from different parenting styles
Quite often, conflicts in parenting style can lead to marital breakdown and at its worst, can manifest during the divorce process. It is clear that we are born and raised differently and no one shares the same childhood experience. It’s very rare to have parents agree completely on all aspects of bringing up their child or children.
How parents resolve these differences and potential conflicts is important
While it isn’t uncommon to have different parenting styles and ideas on what is best for a child, it sometimes causes significant friction and conflict between parents. How the parents resolve these conflicts in a constructive and amicable manner is what might prevent a marital breakdown.
The good news is that the differences exist because both parents love the child. But if the conflicts are seen or felt by a child, then the child may be affected.
The Family Justice Courts were formed to help resolve these conflicts
When the couple is unable to resolve the conflicts, thankfully relief can be sought from the Family Justice Courts. But to avoid an unpalatable court order, it is still best to resolve the conflicts out of court. In court, the Judge will consider the welfare of the child as paramount and subject to this, the followings are considered:
- Wishes of the parents.
- Wish of the child if the child is of age to express an independent opinion.
How to resolve parenting conflicts then? Techniques from my experience
I’d like to offer a few techniques that I have learned over my years of matrimonial practice to resolve parenting conflicts:
- Develop good communication skills.
- Do not jump to conclusions too quickly – give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
- Ascertain if your spouse’s or your fear/concern is real or merely emotional.
- Constructively work out alternative option with your spouse. Ideally, the alternative option is able to address the concern of your spouse.
- Conduct conflict resolution when you are not in the presence of your child or children.
- If need be and appropriate, tactfully solicit the opinion of your child or children (if they are of age) but do not ask your child or children to choose sides.
- Exercise patience, forgiveness and self-reflection.
- Have faith in your spouse’s proposal after all he or she loves your child too.
- Praise your spouse in the presence of your child.
- In desperate time, show this article to your spouse.
There are government agencies that helps a couple resolve parenting conflicts. They are: Care Corner Centre for Co-Parenting, HELP Family Service Centre, PPIS As-Salaam Family Support Centre and Thye Hua Kwan Centre for Family Harmony @ Commonwealth.
Get in touch with Michael for your family law issues
Get a quotation from Michael Low or you may wish to speak with other lawyers with experience in family law with an Asia Law Network’s Quick Consult where a lawyer will call you back within 1-2 days for a transparent, flat fee starting at S$49 to answer your questions and give legal advice.
This article is written by Mr Michael Low from Crossbows LLP with editing contributions from Sharon Tan from Asia Law Network.
This article does not constitute legal advice or a legal opinion on any matter discussed and, accordingly, it should not be relied upon. It should not be regarded as a comprehensive statement of the law and practice in this area. If you require any advice or information, please speak to practicing lawyer in your jurisdiction. No individual who is a member, partner, shareholder or consultant of, in or to any constituent part of Interstellar Group Pte. Ltd. accepts or assumes responsibility, or has any liability, to any person in respect of this article.